The difference between liberals and conservatives

A Republican National Convention-inspired special for you...

21st Century liberals and conservatives are fairly easy to peg. This has nothing to do with Democrat or Republican. Here's a guide:

General conservatives are bullies. They believe they are right and they're going to beat you over the head with it (see O'Reilly and Hannity, among others). Conservatives are interested in saving souls and on getting liberals to admit their transgressions and see that the conservative way is the right way. But in the end, they don't care if you come over to their side or not, because they know they are right.

Hard-core conservatives are few and far-between nowadays. These are dinosaurs like Ronald Reagan or Jesse Helms. Like general conservatives, they think they are right but they also think they are right because they serve a higher purpose. These guys are hard-line and don't care much for what others think of them. True hard-core conservatives are made to be so far out on the fringe in the 2000s that we may never see another one.

General liberals have an entirely different world view. They are right simply because they are right and how in the world could one think any other way? Some call this intellectualism or elitism, and that's true to a degree. But in general, in the opinion of these people, the liberal way is the enlightened way, or to use the present vernacular, the progressive way. And my goodness, anyone who would want to drill in ANWAR or stop an abortion is a knuckle-dragging, mouth-breathing neanderthal.

Old-time liberals are still out there. These are the ones you would call tree-huggers, or the world-savers. These are people who drive Yugos with "practice random acts of kindness" bumper stickers who work in the rain forests or get a masters degree to be a social worker in the inner city. There is an elitism here, in that they think people need saving and they are the ones to do it. These folks are often the children of hippies or are trust-fund babies who can go sailing with Greenpeace for $6000 a year without having to worry about a student loan or earning a living.

I admire the hard-core people, liberal and conservative. The problem is that so many people fall in the other two categories, and usually with something to gain.