Great Garrison's Ghost!

Unconfirmed reports are flowing out of Washington that the ghost of Jim Garrison has been seen haunting the chambers where closing arguments in the perjury trial of vice-presidential aide Scooter Libby has been taking place.

Garrison, of course, was the New Orleans district attorney who was only person to bring a charge and a trial in the assassination of John F. Kennedy and was made into a folk hero in Oliver Stone's epic JFK. The lens of history has not been as kind to Garrison, however, as corruption filled his office and stories of prosecutorial misconduct tainted his hounding of Clay Shaw, the New Orleans businessman accused of complicity in the Kennedy killing.

So I have two questions:

1. If you lie to investigators about something that is not a crime, is it still perjury; and

2. Will anyone outside of Washington who really gives more than half a damn about this please raise your hand?

Patrick Fitzgerald, the special prosecutor chosen to investigate the non-crime of leaking the identity of CIA employee - not covert agent - Valerie Plame, called Libby before a Grand Jury to explain what he knew about the leaking of Plame's name to the media. What Fitzgerald knew - but Libby did not - is that the leaker had already been identified.

Libby is now saying both that he has a fuzzy memory and that he was not entirely truthful. And both are probably true. He says he doesn't exactly what he said and to whom, but that he was understandably afraid that Fitzgerald might try to pin the leak on Libby, just after President Bush announced that the hammer would be dropped on the leaker.

So why has this joke of a trial captivated the media so? The answer lies in two main parts: A) the media is the star of the trial; and B) this is a chance to sock it to Bush/Cheney.

When heavyweights like Tim Russert are called to the stand - and grilled - it elevates the stature of the Inside-the-Beltway types. And let's not forget, this whole thing started as a mission to de-rail either Bush, Cheney, or the neo-con Darth Vader himself, Karl Rove. Instead, all Fitzgerald ended up with is Libby, a decidedly smaller fish. It's like trying to nail Tony Soprano and ending up with Bobby Baccala - not that he's not important, but at the end of the day all Bobby does is wipe Junior's nose - he's not the real target.

So back to Jim Garrison - in a world filled with JFK, Lee Harvey Oswald, Bobby Kennedy, Jack Ruby, Fidel Castro, mafia connections, among others - Garrison brought charges against a two-bit player who, if he was involved with the Kennedy assassination, was so far down the totem pole he had to read about in the papers like every one else. Fitzgerald's closing arguments - where he pointed fingers at Cheney - can be interpreted like the great monologue in the Stone film: "Back, and to the left, " since it only for the benefit of the Left that this trial ever took place.

Now the truly bad news - if found guilty, Libby could be sentenced to five years onboard a JetBlue plane on the tarmac at JFK.

Super Bowl XLI recap

What a sloppy Super Bowl. At least it did keep my attention to the end.

...

What more does Peyton Manning have to do to silence his critics? For years, pundits have said he had to get past the Patriots to be considered among the best. Then, it was said he had to get to the Super Bowl. Then, it was said he had to win a Super Bowl. Now, some are suggesting to be among the all-time greats, he has to win more than one.

Let's see, QBs who won more than one Super Bowl: Bart Starr, Roger Staubach, Bob Griese, Terry Bradshaw, Jim Plunkett, Joe Montana, Troy Aikman, John Elway, and Tom Brady. That's it, that's the list.

There are some pretty good QBs who only won one: Johnny Unitas, Joe Namath, Steve Young, and Brett Favre, to name a few. Hall of Famers all.

Then again, I guess Mark Rypien, Jeff Hostetler, Brad Johnson, and Trent Dilfer were all Super Bowl winners as well.

Manning deserves his due. Back off of the man!

...

Speaking of QBs with one Super Bowl win, how bad is Phil Simms as a broadcaster? I cannot believe he is CBS' #1 analyst. He is unlistenable.

...

While we are on the "un"s, how "un"remarkable were the ads? There were some good ones - "I threw a rock" and the Dorito's ad from Cary among them - but nothing you will talk about at the water cooler all week or even remember a month from now. And who were the lame-oids at USA Today that picked the crab ad #1 and the dirty dog ad #2?

...

When they get to 50, will it really be Super Bowl L? Somehow seems smaller than Super Bowl XL, doesn't it?

...

Roger Goodell needs to enroll in Toastmasters to work on his public speaking skills. His first SB as commish, and I've seen funeral directors with more spunk.

...

Wow, were you aware that Tony Dungy was the first African-American coach to win the Super Bowl? How could you not, as it was a main media focus. I told the lovely and talented Katie that I had hoped we were past even caring about stuff like that, but she replied that she thought this photo from the State-UNC game was a much better sentiment.

...

I like how Dungy handled it all - he deflected praise and gave credit to those black coaches that came before him. Classy. He also referred to his faith and spoke of he and Bears coach Lovie Smith as Christians who did things "the Lord's way."

...

Poor Rex Grossman. Worse QBs have made it to a Super Bowl, even won it (see Dilfer), but none have taken the fall like Rexy. Grossman may take the fall, but the Bears abandoned the running game late and put it all on him to win or lose. It's not fair that he will be sliced apart, but that's life as a QB in the NFL.

...

Well, gotta go for tonight. It's almost X o'clock and I have to get VIII hours of shut-eye!

Congrats, Wuffies

N.C. State University Basketball Coach Killed

Lowe dies in celebration accident

Sidney Lowe, men's basketball coach at North Carolina State University, has been killed in a horrific accident, according to university officials.

What started as a tribute to a thrilling victory turned into a tragedy late Saturday night, resulting in the death of the first-year coach.

Lowe's Wolfpack defeated third-ranked North Carolina 83-79 on Saturday afternoon, marking N.C. State's first victory over the rival Tar Heels since 2003. Jubilant students rushed the floor and celebrations were plenty across Raleigh on Saturday night.

Wolfpack boosters immediately commissioned a bronze statue of Lowe to be placed outside of the Case Athletic Center on the N.C. State campus, as well as arranging for a permanent display in the school's Hall of Honor for the bright-red blazer Lowe wore on the sideline for the historic victory.

The trouble began shortly thereafter when the statue sculptor, hurrying to finish the statue before the planned parade down Hillsborough Street, accidentally bronzed the 47 year-old coach.

Wolfpack officials announced their plans to place the metal-encased corpse on display outside the Case Center anyway.

A memorial quickly began to form outside Reynolds Coliseum, the site of N.C. State's last basketball glory some 20-plus years ago, and where Lowe played for the Wolfpack in the early 1980s. The NC State media relations office refrains from referring to Lowe as an alumnus since he did not actually graduate from the university.

A distraught Wolfpack fan, James Westphal of Kenansville, shivered in the February cold outside Reynolds on Sunday morning, shirtless and still covered in body paint from the game on Saturday.

"Sidney Lowe was a like a god, man, " said Westphal. "He understood that beating Carolina is the most important thing that can ever happen to a Wolfpack fan. No matter if the trailer burns down, or if you get laid off from the turkey plant, you can still say we beat Carolina. When they win the national championship in April, we can say, 'yeah, but we whipped you in February!'"

Wolfpack Club member Dr. Kenneth Noisewater also spoke passionately of Lowe, saying "Sidney really got things turned around here. I mean, he's got to be smiling in heaven knowing he died undefeated against Carolina. Seeing that statue, knowing his bones are inside it, will make me forget the 5 straight NCAA tournament appearances we had with Herb Sendek."

North Carolina head coach Roy Williams released a statement through the university late Saturday night.

"All of us in the Carolina basketball family extend our sympathies to our poor cousins down I-40," said Williams. "Sidney's team really played hard and took us behind the woodshed during that game. As I looked down the sideline and saw that red blazer, I could have sworn I saw Jim Valvano working his magic down there. OK, not really, but that was the look he was going for and I'm not going to ruin it for him by talking ill of the dead."

Williams refused to address the question of whether or not the Tar Heels were looking past the Wolfpack to Wednesday's matchup with Duke. He did say, however, that his team played like crap and that after Sunday's practice they would wish they had never been born.

NC State athletic director Lee Fowler praised Lowe, saying "Ol' Sid really woke up the echoes, didn't he? Now that he's beaten Carolina and achieved hero status, I don't look like such a horse's ass for the way I conducted that coaching search, do I?"

Fowler said a decision on starting the search for Lowe's replacement had not been reached, but that he had a foolproof plan this time. He would not elaborate, but he was later overheard asking an athletics department aide for the area code for Boston and for that aide to get Al Skinner on the phone...